Day 1⃣3⃣ connection from afar... I wanna be someone to believe

Sha la la la la la la la
Oh, uh huh

I was down at the New Amsterdam
Starin' at this yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation
With a black-haired flamenco dancer
You know she dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
And we all want something beautiful
Man, I wish I was beautiful

So come dance this silence down through the morning
Sha la la la la la la la
Yeah, oh, uh huh, yeah

Cut up, Maria! Show me some of them Spanish dancers n'
Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones
Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
I wanna be someone who believes

Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
And we stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me."
Smiling in the bright lights
Coming through in stereo
When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely

Well, I'm gon' paint my picture
Paint myself in blue, red, black and gray
All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful
Gray is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a gray guitar and play

Mr. Jones and me look into the future

Yeah, we stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you.
I don't think so. She's looking at me."
Standin' in the spotlight
I bought myself a gray guitar
When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely
I will never be lonely
Said I'm never gonna be lonely

I want to be a lion
Eh, everybody wanna pass as cats
We all want to be big, big stars
Yeah but we got different reasons for that
Believe in me 'cause I don't believe in anything
And I wanna be someone to believe
To believe, to believe, yeah

Mr. Jones and me stumbling through the barrio
Yeah, we stare at the beautiful women
"She's perfect for you.
Man, there's got to be somebody for me!"
I wanna be Bob Dylan
Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky
When everybody loves you, ah son
That's just about as funky as you can be

Mr. Jones and me starin' at the video
When I look at the television
I wanna see me staring right back at me
We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why
And we don't know how
But when everybody loves me
I'm gonna be just about as happy as I can be
Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars

The only way to describe today is with the above. No cloud 9, but definitely a solemn feeling. Not even scared of the unknown, rather i am a overprotective, rightfully proud, and infinitely more bold, madly naive visionary. Not sure what I'm fighting for...oh yeah, it's to believe. Pass me the bottle, Mr. Jones. Believe in me...smh

and the following words by JFK in my defense.

"There are costs and risks to a program of action, buy they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction."

Perfect quote.

Day 1⃣2⃣ I cut the umbilical cord with my home team

So it's really going to take place?! Overall, the day was stress free as i allowed the smart people guide my path and words rather than impulse and emotions-I can't say the same for what occurred shortly after that. I very much allowed my WHY to speak and i am remarkably or NAIVELY calm. I will soon know.

Day 1⃣1⃣ tears of sadness and sadness

This day was marked by agitation, concern, friendship forging stronger bonds, and some heartfelt tears. I couldn't contain the gasping for air, as I tried to remind myself to breathe. He even replied in his deadpan custom. "I don't usually have to say this to you, but I can't actually hear you, are you still there?". All I wanted to say was and "who is going to help us now?". Instead the moment called for just thank you and you will be missed. Those were the only words that i could muster up through the sobs. It was reliving the goodbye call, the greetings at the party, and September 1st again.
I should of known better than to have called right after receiving a text and picture from a most unlikely source which commenced the trails of tears. Fortunately, at that moment not one solitary person in the office needed of me, it was just my pathetic self and my emotions, so thankful.

I am at peace once again due to knowing that peace exists with my stronghold, my Rock. I honestly believe that i have the most incredible mentors, who tutor and guide me daily and if it wasn't for their patience I would not be. Thank you.

May tomorrow continue to kindly and generously provide me with wisdom and courage.

Day 1⃣0⃣ I woke up "spitting mad"

And I just woke up ticked off, not sure if it's because of self serving reasons (I wanted them to see I was prepared- pretty pathetic) or if it's because I expected more details-insight on the mystery that is our new boss or was it that I don't have a backbone or voice anymore. Or is it because I didn't appreciate the underhanded comment or so it seemed, now that I interpret all conversation with suspicion and paranoia. I'm exhausted. I'm hurt and... I will survive. Tonight Moscato will have calm my woes!

No emotions no words

I just couldn't believe that I had wasted my energy, my time, and my half tank of gas and all I got was another "punch to the gut". If it was mine then at least I could accept it. But I think this has become a little more than I have the courage to handle or stand up for. I sent the email to DRAFT again. I jjust can't believe, it was nothing what I expected. There is absolutely NO EMOTION IN THE CORPORATE WORLD.

Day 9⃣ All I have to say about that...

...and that's I have to say about that

Reminder of #FinishYear goals and objectives

Amongst these categories-a whole list of subcategories emerge. Those details are in my personal journal. At those i have seemed more successful than these long term yearly 2012 goals. I am feeling a little discouraged that judging this as it stands it would appear as i have not accomplished anything. I did download a THESAURUS app, does that count?

Well, I may need to revamp my list. Let's get this Monday going... Oh yeah first I must sleep for at least 300 minutes🕔