When all you ever wish for is for them not to be hungry or tired or lonely or confused or mistreated or neglected or pressured or used or without you and all you see is those very things in their next fee steps... The agony is immense that you don't know how to approach the calamity.

Pain like no other...

Sometimes even people are substituted by others not because they mean more than another or because they are blood relation but because of the simple reason that you haven't been hurt by them and no other reason than that is enough an safe.

Sometimes when you are just completely exhausted and have no other choice than to not care because every other feeling at this time is just too difficult to bear

At this time, when I absolutely have noone to turn to, the lone rescuer is never far to be the receiptant of the anger the hurt the pain the confusion and just stand faithfully to observe the meltdown and be compassionate and wise enough to remain silent and soft when I have neither quiet or reason in my fits... And weakness and vulnerability is all I can muster through the pain

Day 56 feb 25 to Day 62 march 2

I hired my other nephew, Aaron. I am truly excited with all the new changes at work. I may hate it and be burned out in a year, but for now I am loving it.